born January 22, 2005 at Tampa General Hospital,
told by Elizabeth:
I always felt somewhat
responsible for my daugter's casarean birth. I was
not properly prepared for this first birth. I took
the weekend class at the hospital and figured I
would try my best to avoid drugs.
My Mom actually told me not to over prepare. Besides,
I thought. Why would I need a c-section? I'm healthy
and in good shape.
Let me tell you a little bit about
how my first birth went.
My water broke before labor started
with my daugther at 37 weeks. I expected to go late
and was totally caught off gaurd. My parents drove
me to the doctor because my husband was at work.
Dr sent me over to the hospital at about 4pm as
I was beginning to dilate. I was all alone when
a nurse came in and told me that I needed to stop
"climbing the walls" and lay down when
I was trying to get into a more comfortable position
that I learned about in my short but sweet childbirth
class. The nurse said "You need drugs."
I resisted at first, but then chose an epidural
as I did not know how to cope with the contractions.
I think this was a big mistake. I was fully dilated
a little after 10pm and began pushing. I had them
turn down the epidural but then had it turned back
up again. The baby was in a weird semi posterior
position. The dr tried to turn her many times, but
she would just flip to another weird postion. I
pushed and pushed for over 2 hours and then they
wanted to do surgery. I protested and pushed for
another hour, but had a c-section at 1:43 am. My
baby was taken to the NICU and I didn't get to hold
her for 6 hours. She had lots of trouble learning
to nurse, and, except for a couple times the first
day, didn't latch on until she was over 2 weeks
old. I cried a lot. I felt like I had failed.
So, I got pregnant again. I live in
Tampa, Florida. There are midwives available who
will do a home birth VBAC, but they can not legally
do VBACs in the birth center. I was not interested
in a home birth. Being home in my messy house is
not relaxing to me. I had to research to find a
hospital that would allow a VBAC. I found a midwife
group, the only group I know of in Tampa, that would
provide care for a VBAC candidate at Tampa General
Hospital. I liked the group, except for one woman.
She was extremely discouraging. She kept talking
about uterine rupture and death a lot. I had to
sign some scary consent forms. In November I was
diagnosed with gestational diabetes. What a pain!
My top concern was that the diabetes would jeopordize
my VBAC. I had to be super strict with my diet.
I loathed it. In December the midwives were concerned
that the baby was "still breech" but I
felt it turn when I was about 34 weeks after two
days of walking for hours. I was told more than
once that my chances of success were not good and
the OB consultant for the group did not want me
to try for VBAC. Legally though, no one can cut
you open without consent. (Unless maybe you are
unconscious?) I truly was not trying to be radical
or unreasonable. i just wanted to try to birth my
baby vaginally. I did not want major surgery for
no really good reason.
I prepared for this upcoming birth
by taking Hypnobirthing classes and reading my friend's
Bradley Method Childbirth information and doing
some of the exercise. I also followed the exercises
and sitting and sleeping recomendations for optimal
fetal positioning I found on spinningbabies.com.
I meditated with the Hypnobirthing CDs and a VBAC
CD by Maggie Howell almost every day. I hired a
doula and called her whenever I had a discouraging
appointment (often). I talked to 3 successful VBAC
friends.
At almost about 37 weeks my midwife
said I was 3 cm dilated and very thin. This was
around Jan 18th I think.
So, by January 20 i was in a really
FOUL mood, and sick of my stupid gestational diabetes
diet. On the 21st I took my just turned 2 yr old
daughter to the zoo in the morning. At about 7 pm
she threw a whole bunch of crayons on the floor.
When I bent over to pick them up I heard a "Pop"
and felt water, just a little bit, trickle into
my undies. Oh god, I thought, was that my water
breaking?
Yes, it was. I was not having regular
contractions though. I fooled around doing dishes
for awhile as I somewhat freaked out. I called my
mom and dad to come watch my daughter. Then I took
a shower, and my daughter took a shower with me.
I decided to dry my hair, which is very out of character
for me, but it gave me something to focus on. My
parents arrived around 10pm and we got my daughter
to bed. i made sure everything was ready in my bag
and went to bed around 11pm with irregular contractions.
I may have slept a little but not much. I moved
around trying to get comfortable. Around 3 am I
was on my hands and knees to get through a contraction.
My husband suggested going to the hospital but I
didn't want to go yet. He was getting a bit anxious,
and we left for the hospital around 4:30 to beat
morning traffic. My husband called the doula. I
listened to my hypnobirthing stuff on my ipod in
the car. I still did not feel it was time to go
to the hospital and told my husband that if I was
less than 5 cm I would not stay. The whole hospital
thing was kind of scaring me. We got there and I
stopped to sit on the exercise ball a couple times
on the way up. My contractions were still not regular,
but seemed a little stronger. I was in a good mood.
The midwife was at the nurses station
when we walked in. She smiled and asked what was
going on. I told them my water broke around midnight
because I felt I had to buy some time. I had heard
that they will not let you go more than 24 hours
after your water breaks and I was afraid I was at
the hospital too soon. She asked me my pain and
I stubbornly said 1 on a scale of 1-10 because I
was determined that my pain level would not be higher
than a 2. She checked me and exclaimed "Girl,
you are 7 cm! maybe 8!" Wow, I was so excited.
maybe this was going to work. The midwife and nurse
were excited too and kept telling people that there
was a woman in natural labor dilated to 8 cm who
was only a 1 for pain. That made me feel proud and
was encouraging. My doula arrived and she and my
husband took turns applying pressure to my lower
back, the sacrum, with every contraction. I was
quiet, and would say "Push please" for
pressure whenever I felt a contraction starting.
The pressure really helped. I listened to my Hypnobirthing
stuff and VBAC Maggie Howell stuff on the Ipod.
I mostly stayed in a kneeling position with my arms
and head leaning on the top of the raised part of
the bed. The labor and delivery nurse was great.
She helped me achieve the best position possible
by moving my legs apart a bit. I started to growl.
I had always heard it was important to make Low
noises during birthing. I got really hot and tangled
up in my gown and took it off, which is quite out
of character for me. I felt more comfortable in
my sports bra. I tried standing for a few contractions
around 7 am. Then I was on my back for a few contractions
while the doula and husband held my legs. That gave
me a little rest, but I didn't want to stay that
way because I knew that was not using gravity to
my advantage.
Now, in Hypnobirthing you are not
encouraged to push. Your uterus will push the baby
out for you. But oh my legs were getting so tired.
So around 9:30 am I decided to push. I used the
squat bar and the baby moved down a lot. I almost
started to scream high, but my doula reminded me
to stay low with my voice. I did, and it really
helped. I was getting tired and tried lying on my
side some. Not so good for descent, but again, gave
me a chance to rest.
I starting squatting with pushes and lying down
in between. This was working. I felt a hot splash
and yelled "What the hell was that?" It
was my forebag of waters breaking. Oh, I never knew
about that! I was getting scared. I had been pushing
for awhile and no baby was coming out. Was I going
to have the same problems I had with my first birth?
No! The baby was in a good position.
Still I was starting to freak out and I yelled at
people "I'm not doing this right! You have
to help me.
Tell me what to do." They all
reassured me that the baby was moving down and it
was going to come out. The midwife said "Babies
come a little bit at a time." I was very doubtful
at this point, and scared.
Finally, I felt burning. It felt GREAT! Yes! The
baby really was going to come out! I was finally
convinced that I knew what I was doing and that
this baby would be born vaginally. At 10:31 there
was crowning and the head came out. At 10:32 my
husband actually caught the baby.
It was immediately placed on my chest,
just where I wanted my baby to be. I announced "It's
a boy!" I was so so so so happy to be able
to hold my little warm wet baby. I got to hold him
right away! This was the best part. I got to hold
him for a long time. Over an hour. He had his first
latch on at 11:30 am. I felt so happy and proud.
If you are considering a VBAC, I say
go for it. It was the most empowering thing I have
ever done. Learn a lot, find lots of support, and
be determined.
It is so worth it.
When my son was 6 days old I
walked a mile to the playground with him in the
sling and my daughter in the stoller. Recovery was
a breeze.
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